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Thursday, December 29th, 2005
10:53 pm - fettishist

'stilleto fettish'
you take all your clues from me then say you'd like to settle down
with a girl who wears sattin slippers.
i have a stiletto fettish.
believe me,

not me.
all of that merciless rage condensed onto a stilleto
point is not for one who thinks with his childish heart.

current mood: aggravated

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Monday, December 26th, 2005
10:21 pm - he


modest; understated
a touch, marked by simplicity
a breath
one effortless breath - an echo momentary.
now overwhelming
contradicting the fear
talking without knowing
But sometimes you don't know;
its not only me who feels that.
but mostly its only me.
ignorant to you.
then the echo
returning; easy
and i forget to feel the driving rain - the rush about to
hit me.
for a moment
in your echo beautiful
and the echo saves me
a breath.
a breath which lasts forever
for a moment


current mood: confused

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Sunday, December 25th, 2005
6:16 pm - Vainglory

'vainglory and the wire'
vainglorious walks a tight-rope
pigeon steps
blindly grasping, feeling the nothingness
beside her
above, behind, and below her.
dont look at the gap within her.

pigeon steps and fills the gap,
all her life filling it with jasmine
the aroma which crushes her soul
sends her fleeing into the tormented misfit - someone she thought she wasn't
never to be again. But she is.

vainglory and the wire
ever poingant, the fall
the death of the circus - the dream of the free
look down, but don't look in.

current mood: amused

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Saturday, December 24th, 2005
10:06 pm - 'the gate'

'the gate'
glimmering hope lies tarnished in the morning glare
waiting, with baited breath
the eyes of the down-trodden sparkle at the sight
leaning low
sniffing, sensing, tasting and at last touching
now grasping upwards, upwards
white-picket fencing splinters in hands
when the ground becomes tar, unset
the skin becomes nothing
and the fates of hope are gone.

current mood: blank

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Monday, December 19th, 2005
4:55 pm - Join us


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Monday, December 6th, 2004
3:55 pm

Since I'm rather new here

give smilies_rule more *HUGS*

Get hugs of your own

I know this is a bit off topic... but its greatly appreciated... :D

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Thursday, December 2nd, 2004
4:09 pm


Forced in an enclosed space
Crinkled up, legs on my chest,
Soaked to my skin.
Free now, but dragged towards
A bowl – no, a sink –
Leaning forwards as though to retch,
But I see my reflection
In a small puddle of water.
Stopping to think, the puddle
Vanishes, and so do I.
I plunge down the drain,
Ripped through the plughole,
And I fall down, down,
Into the empty blackness.
After an age I crash land
Without practise, onto a cold,
Hard bed, in a small, green room –
No, a jail cell.
Bars on the window,
And no blanket on my bed.
I wince as she – the angel –
Approaches me, shining in glory –
Her dark hair in two elegant ponytails
Slung behind her carelessly but with care.
“Follow the will of God,” she said,
“And all will be alright. Have a cookie?”
Madness. Torment. What are these feelings?
What am I feeling? Why am I –
Is this dream or is this reality?
I look back at the angel but she has
Disappeared. Into the nothingness,
Like everything else. I lift up my hand,
And surprisingly, I find a pen.
How did that get there? Looking down,
And there is paper. What?
I lower my hand again,
And astonishingly the words pour out.
No clue of what I am writing passes through me.
Relief. No pain. No struggle. No harm…
I rest again and the lights glow bright.
What have I just done to myself? I feel
An absence. No pain, but just – an empty space.
Now – no feeling. No… no… guilt.
Relief. Yes, that’s it.
I seem to have written my feelings down on paper.
But like pen is to paper for some,
As sword is to heart for others,
We all have our hobbies.
And our dreams.

current mood: umm...

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Saturday, September 4th, 2004
9:50 am - New Poem

I want you

I want more then just
your pretty face
I want more then just
one kiss,
I want the love we
laughed & joked about

I need you.

I've loved you since the
moment our eyes met,
I want more then a hug
and kiss here & there,

I want you & I need you in my life

I want the feeling of waking up
& knowing i'm not all alone
I want the romance from my
dreams, I want to know that
you'll be there

I still want you, still need you,

I want you more then for just
a year, I want more then just
to feel your lips, I want more
the just one kiss . . .

I want, you in my life.

So, What do ya think?

current mood: calm

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Tuesday, August 31st, 2004
8:45 pm - New Poem, Enjoy


Goodbye happiness,
Hello hopelessness,
my soul is lost, my fear
is found, I no longer see me
in that reflection in the mirror,
and life's become a blur.
In my mind I see my dreams now
miles away.
If only time could go back to when
that reflection belonged to me,
when life was happy, when life had
hope. the better I become, the
farther I fall.

current mood: awake

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Monday, August 30th, 2004
7:53 pm

Ok, I'm new (to the community not Live Journal) I'm still very new to the whole writing thing but willing to learn as much as I can, and I'm completly open to
suggestions/criticism anything to improve my writing skills (which are yet to be found) Is it a rule to put long posts or poems in an lj-cut?
incase you were interested here's a picture of me


current mood: chipper

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Tuesday, July 13th, 2004
6:50 pm

Hello. I am new, I know how everything works on this site, so when I do need help I will ask. Please comment and criticize me in anyway. I like to know ways in which to improve.

Dead Letter - inspired by the Rasmus Album [titled Dead Lettes]
I wrote you a letter with no return address
But you moved on.
So, now it's dumped just like I was.
Forgotten and lost in an endless sea,
where everything is torn and broken.
A memory that you don't care about,
a memory you won't remember.
I thought I was your everything.
Or so you told me.
Am I just a dead letter to you now?

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Friday, June 11th, 2004
10:42 pm - something new....

Call to War

Close your eyes to the lies
You see before you.
Cast aside all your pride,
And do what you must do.

Awaken from slumber-less nights,
Your dreaming already becoming surreal.
Flee from the dark you've become unaware of,
To rely undoubted on all that you feel.

Tilt your woe-begone heed back far,
In order to see the stars more clearly.
Leave your wives and your children behind,
Although you will miss them most dearly.

Follow, follow the sound of the wind.
Reaching, dragging, pulling you in.
Deeper, into a life full of war.
Shielding your view of the trouble and sin.

Close your eyes to the lies
You see before you.
Cast aside all your pride,
And do what you must do.


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Saturday, May 22nd, 2004
8:48 pm - Angel from my Nightmare

As I stare down the barrel of my gun, I think back to what drove me to this. It was her, the girl that I long for, the most beautiful girl that I have ever seen. The fact that she didn’t know that she was beautiful made her all the more beautiful. She was the only one that made me happy she had me thinking of things other than death. We were always together until the day she left me. The angel of my nightmare went back to heaven. The fucker that killed her, killed her so he could join a gang . The day I found him was the worst and last day of his life. I didn’t kill him right away, I made him suffer so he could fill the pain that he inflected on me. He had a long agonizing death. That didn’t remove the pain from within me that I thought it would. The only thing that would remove the pain from my aching soul is to be with my love, the angel above. As I pulled the trigger my head snapped back I saw my angel. When I came around I was in a pit of flames with the pain still within me. I was in hell, she was in heaven , she is the angel above and I could not fly.

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Saturday, April 24th, 2004
1:21 am - tired
thatscilariousz im about to fall asleep at the computer im so tired but im going to stay up just for the fun of it but my eyes hurt ya i changed somin on my lj so its not that plain anymore i thought it was quite funny i was laughing at my self yes i am very very tired its 1: 23 am i wonder wat everyone else is doing i can hear my cousin snoring it makes me giggle and im also hungry and my throats a little dry! and i have no one else to talk to so i guess its just you and me my little journal

current mood: thirsty

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Monday, April 12th, 2004
5:43 pm - Cliché Heartbreak

Cliché Heartbreak

Yes there’s a part of me wants back what I’ve lost
but then there’s the me that wants a new start
I tried to explain to her, that that’s just how I am
I just have that “easily forgiving” type of heart
There’s a mind of mine
that sees the pictures in the frames
A soul that yearns to go back to those memories
Seeing the edges consumed in flames
With a simple cliché heartbreak,
I cry, and the black tears burn
They stain my cheeks and create emotional catastrophe.
When I wipe them away, hope they never return.
And now I’m lost without you
Drifting in and out of sanity
Wanting you, then throwing you away
But what can I say, that’s just me.
I know you wont be the last to see my cry
I know you’ll only be the first to hear these words of mine,
But after you I’ll learn to caution myself
And not so easily fall, cause I’ve tripped this time.
Now they all think I’m crazy, for wanting you again
Guess I blind myself, but fail to fool them.
Well, I still hope you find a way to rewind time
Turning this black coal into a gem.
Once again, I’m leading myself to believing
We will ultimately see the sun
But I never want to be this burned again
Wish I could hear them, as they tell me I should run
Cause right now, all I’m listening to, is you
I’ve turned my back against the world, and my sanity.
But what do you deserve? Take a look at the mess you’ve made
And all you’ve done to me.


current mood: curious

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Sunday, April 11th, 2004
9:12 pm - Down The Drain

This isn't my newest...but i like it none-the-less....

Down the Drain

I stand under the shower's rain
to wash away my trouble and pain
but it fails to cleanse me of my hurt
and at my feet swirl water and dirt
my head spins, i slip and fall
hands sliding down a soapy wall
lying in the porcelain tub
with my hand on my head, I slowly rub
giving up, I’m lying still
i let the water have its will
to wash over my body, naked as it is
i run my hand across my chest, wishing it were his.


let me know...<3

current mood: dorky

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1:54 pm - Girl With A Heart

Hey- I'm new to this communtity-

Here's #118-

Girl With A Heart

I look at my broken heart in the mirror
Seeing a shattered soul in deep, dark eyes
I can’t help brooding over this
I’m making things worse again, myself I do despise.
This is my gift, this horrible haunting plague.
I’m given black and white, and I make gray.
There’s not much more that I can do
And I’m at a loss for words to say.
Please don’t be scared
I’m nothing but a girl with a heart
But you’d know that wouldn’t you?
It was broken from the start.
I am the shadow in the sun
Come cast your light down on my face
I can no longer see through this veil I’ve created
How would you die, if in my place?
And then you lie again
Forcing my head down and my eyes to look away
There’s not much more that I can do
And I’m at a loss for words to say
Please don’t be scared of me,
I’m nothing but a girl with a heart
But you’d know that wouldn’t you?
It was broken from the start.


Let me know what you think... <3

current mood: crazy

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Saturday, April 10th, 2004
4:02 am - cross posted a couple times...

first post in this community...the only decent thing i've written in a while

you are elliott smith on a sunday morning
and maybe even on a saturday night
you are empty beer bottles on my coffee table
you are a really long math problem, a bonus on the test
you are an orange permanent marker
that's almost out of ink
you are the x and q keys on my keyboard
a refried cigarette
a scar on my shoulder
a burn on my chest
the sidewalk after rain
a yield sign on the street
a prescription heartache
the sun in my eyes
the dirt on my feet
the password to my...
i can't say that
a flower coming through the cracks in the sidewalk
scratches on my legs
cuts on my toes
cavities in my teeth
you are the perfume on my wrists
the sigh out of my throat
the teardrops running down my cheeks and the
burning kitchen knife in between my ribs.

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Sunday, January 4th, 2004
4:46 pm - Give me what I want


Time allows no more hesitation
I am going to get what I want from you
To many lonely nights to refuse
You are going to do what I want you to

The strength of lust is uncontrollable
I will make you follow my lead
Impatient blood thrusts thru the veins
You will give me what I need

We will finish what is started - play no more games
We will reach new heights - our veins full of flames

Though you were the dealer, I am the buyer
Just like the rabbit, I am back in the briar

If this pissed you off, please send me a message, we need to talk

current mood: mischievous

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5:39 am - I call this "My new pick-up Line"


My intentions are pure and innocent
I ask nothing but to know you
To touch you
To feel you
To taste you
To satisfy your deepest desires
My intentions are pure and innocent

If you think it is good: Fear not ladys, I swear never to use this on some wounded dove.
If you think it is not: Let me know, please, I hate being slapped (a little)

current mood: predatory

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